Archive for January, 2012

A Closing Of The Door – Opening to Something New

January 31st, 2012

I read the news today, oh Boy.

About a lucky man who made the grave.

And though the news was rather sad,

I just had to laugh.

I saw the photograph.

 

A friend lost her Mother.  I lost mine.  There’s a special club that we now belong to.  It’s the orphan club and while the membership has its costs, it has its benefits too.

 

The best thing that ever happened to me was that my Mother died.  I know that must be horrible to say, to even put down in words but it’s true.

 

I learned so much about myself.  What I was capable of, what I had in me.  What compassion I could truly offer.  The empathy I could now feel.

 

What was horrible about losing my Mother was now a blessing that I could share with someone else.  To be a voice of rationale in a somewhat irrational point in their lives.

 

So maybe that’s the gift?

 

A light to shine in someone’s darkest corner.  The heel that kills the spider.  A waving of the hand to break the web.

 

Someone to show that God exists.  Not the brimstone and fire-reigning-down-upon God but the one that I always heard of.

 

The one of love and compassion.

 

My heart goes out to her tonight.  My heart and my experience.

In This Life

January 22nd, 2012

Make The Yuletide Gay

January 7th, 2012

We are at a primary shift in the world right now.  Not just with global warming or the threat of the Mayan calendar coming true but of an energy shift that will challenge those trying to hold on to the past as those clutch onto a tree during a tsunami.  (I know, that’s one of the most over-used words in the last couple of years but you get the point.)

That is Lesbian/Gay/Transgendered/Bisexual/Queer ideology.

 

There are those that want to hang on “traditional” morals but I ask you; what are morals?

 

When I was growing up, morals were based upon how you treated other people.  How you looked to society and said, “No, I’m not going to steal this candy bar.”  “No, I’m not going to murder someone”, and no matter how bad you wanted that candy bar or how bad you wanted that person dead, you didn’t.

 

 

That’s what morals were to me.

 

Now, though, in the Rick Perry/Santorum – Michelle Bachmann Tea-bagging troglodytes, morals seem to go in the direction of sexuality.  Is it fair to say that the first two mentioned rhyme with “dick”?

 

Have we really come this far to be going four steps back?

 

By certain people, we are seen as a fringe group asking for equality but not JUST equality, special rights that aren’t afforded to the general population.

 

When marriage became legal in Canada, there was a sub-section of the LGBTQ community that fought to keep marriage between the “straights” because it meant that we were becoming more and more like them.  In fact, I went to one debate where a very smart Lesbian posed the question, “Why do we want marriage when there’s  a 50% rate of divorce.

 

While that question resonated with me, I kept thinking to myself, “it then gives the chance to fail equally.”  And the numbers for gay marriage success and hetero marriage success don’t seem to be any different, from what I can find.  However, one website declares, “Gay marriage hasn’t been legal long enough to establish reliable gay marriage statistics, and many statistics don’t separate gay marriage from general marriage rates.”

 

We are clamoring for positive role models in the media.  Not ones that portray us a murderers or psychos or even philanderers but that show us in an honest, real life world where we are just seeking to be normal.

 

Property of Fox Network.  I take no ownership of this photo.

Property of Fox Network. I take no ownership of this photo.

When the gay kiss on “Glee” was broadcast, the straights went up in arms.  How could this show, directed at teens, then show a kiss between two men before 9:00 pm?  This prompted David Badash to declare, “Glee Gay Kiss: Now, No Network Will Be Able To Hide Same-Sex Smooches.”  And all this on the notorious anti-homosexual Fox network.  Not bad.

 

So here is a teenage kiss that happens to be between to young men, still in high school and not one of a perverted old man who’s trying to seduce a young boy.  Well that’s the point, isn’t it????

 

Amen, Brother

Amen, Brother

I like Louis CK’s response to a situation like this.  It’s frank, yes but it’s honest.

 

I think I’ve said this before (and bear with me if I have) but how, on Earth, does Gay marriage affect or infringe on Heterosexual marriage?

 

The answer is, it doesn’t.  It only adds another dish to the table of commitment.  Maybe that’s the real fear of the Right.  That we are, indeed, just like them.

 

God, that term makes me laugh.  The Right.  I mean, right to whom?  Certainly not to me.

 

The other day, Rick Santorum came across a young Woman who challenged his theories on gay marriage.  For those who don’t know, Rick Santorum is a Senator from Pennsylvania who’s stance on “Family Values” are anything but anti-gay rhetoric that continues to engulf the war between our two divides.

 

But we’re not that different.

 

So let’s add to the argument of Rick Santorum.  He claims that if the U.S. allows Gay marriage that’s a gateway drug to Polygamy.  Not that I have a huge problem with that, hell, let the Mormons have their multiple marriages.  As long as it’s between consenting adults, if some Woman wants to be bride #3 then so be it.  I certainly know of a multitude of gay relationships that are triads. 

 

But that argument is one ladder wrung from, “Well then those who want to marry a goat should be able to do so,”  or the even equally disgusting men from NAMBLA who propose to allow sex with minors.  Last time I checked, goats and children don’t necessarily have a voice to say, “NO!”

 

Due to our “other side of the fence” treatment in the past 50 years, we have been outcasts in a society while we pay taxes and contribute to society.

 

I want, and have as a Canadian, equal rights in all things – including marriage.  And for that I’m grateful.

 

Now let’s throw Religion into the blender and see what comes up, shall we?

 

We, as homosexuals, have heard, ad nauseamA man shall not lie with another man.  It’s Leviticus 18:22.  So it’s in the bible, right?  We should follow it.  Right?

 

Now I’m not trying to be flippant here, I’m trying to make a point.

 

The bible also says, “thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.”  (King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)   So that essentially says my polyester/cotton blend mix is unholy.  Also, it’s been proven that multiple cropping is actually good for growing crops.  So does that make Farmers sinners?

 

Is it just me or Leviticus a bit  anally retentive?  I mean, how could he function, or move his arms,  with that broom handle shoved so far up ass?

 

Again to my point:  The world is changing.  It evolves like any language – and if it didn’t change we’d be living in huts, watching babies die at a profound rate, life expectancy would limit us to 40 years – AT BEST.

 

So change is inevitable.  It is expected.  It is natural.

 

Stop  expecting them to stay the same because as they say, “The more life stays the same, the more it changes.”

 

 

 

Once More Into The Breach

January 4th, 2012

Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more; Or close the wall up with our English dead!     Henry V : Act III, scene i, lines 1-2

 

With the holidays over and a chapter closed (see last blog), it’s time to get back on the horse and plunge into the world that’s infront of me.

 

I know that all of the resolutions that I make up in my head but never say aloud, will get left behind like the empty boxes on recycling day but at least I think they might have a shot.  Of course, who the hell am I kidding.

 

Yes, I should exercise more.

 

Yes, I should drink less.

 

Yes, I should stop going to Tim Hortons for their sesame seeded bagels with herb and garlic cream cheese.

 

Yes, I should focus more on my school work and less time on Netflix or Word Jewels for the iPhone.

 

But, meh, probably not going to.

 

Over the Christmas holidays I had someone say, “You’ve put on weight, haven’t you?”  And yes I have but do I really need someone to point out the obvious?  It’s like going out and hearing, “Oh it’s raining.”  DUH, I KNOW!

Poor thing

Poor thing

I’m sure, in the back of their minds, they’re thinking they’re helping but do I really need to be reminded that my pants are getting tighter?  That the scale in my bathroom (that hasn’t been stood upon in what could be considered eons) seems to actually take on a personality and shrink away from me.

 

With all this, logically, grounded in my psyche, I’m still one for waiting.  Possibly for a massive heart attack (though obviously I’m not hoping for that) or something shattering that will purge me out of this consistent lethargy that has become my comfort zone.

 

So my resolution this year is to do my damnedest not to break my resolution.  That seems to have been the only consistencies in them.

 

 

 

Heaven Can Wait

January 3rd, 2012

Father Art once told me, “Everyone goes to Heaven.”  When I told him that’s not what I’d been pummeled with in my youth, he went on to reassure me that, yes it’s true.  And that Heaven really is a wonderful place.

 

I brought up the clearest example of badness in the world (it’s a cliche of course but I used Hitler – I mean perfect, right?).  The answer was yes.  Yes, indeed Hitler would be going to Heaven.

 

Having to admit my first reaction was somewhat passively-aggressively visceral, I don’t think I hid very well my contempt at the idea.  I mean, here was the worst man in the history (that I’d learned up to that point, anyway) and he was given a free pass into eternal joy and light?  I wasn’t happy at the idea.

 

Father Art went on to say that Heaven is so different than anything we can expect.  That it’s filled with love and forgiveness and the trappings of this mortal coil.

 

Still not convinced. What happened to my wrathful, vengeful God who would open the book on my life, point to my excesses of failings then pull the lever that would plummet me down to the eternal damnation of Hell?

 

Yeah, that’s the Holy Father that I knew.

 

Now that I’m older and I’ve seen those with failings pass before me, I like the idea of a place where all is forgotten and a the blackboard chalk is cleaned away leaving open a new beginning that will start a new life.  You see, I wanted my Father to burn.  I wanted him to get to Heaven and have my Mother slap him across the face.

 

Mother Mary

Mother Mary

But I don’t believe that.  I’m sure she’s there with her arms as wide as the equator welcoming him the next plateau.  All forgiven and every transgression forgotten.

 

But then I remember what Father Art said.  That Heaven is a place of forgiveness and love.

 

As I’ve stated, I’m not even sure there is a Heaven, or a  God, or a Peter checking the ledger at the pearly gates but go with me on this.

 

From my perspective my Father was a terrible man (and I have many to back me up) but am I blaming someone for being who they were, innately, who they were?  I was.  I can’t blame my father for being him just as others can’t blame me for the same sins.

 

There were many today, at his funeral, that felt the complete opposite.

 

So who’s right?

 

We all are.

 

My Father was a prize winning stallion in a race.  He still had blinders on but I do as well.  We all do.  He had no periphery but could only see the finish line.

 

My relationship with my Father was tempestuous at best.  He was more of a ghost than anything else and that was from both sides.

 

From my perspective I tried and I’m sure from his, he did too.

 

There’s enough blame to go around in this world that it becomes a cacophony of muddled sound.  So I’m choosing now to lend a discerning ear and funnelling out the minutia.

 

Today was my Father’s funeral.  A conflicted time in my life, to say the least.  As I said, we didn’t have the best relationship and for most of life but does that really matter now?  When he is lying in a box and I am contemplating my life?

 

Not really.

 

Darby

Darby

Goodbye, Dad. Thanks for my family, for giving me a sense of independence, for being you.  For all your failings, you really taught me about the man I hope to be.

 

And thank you, Father Art.

 

Scotland The Brave, forever.